This a daily account of artist and mother, Ruth Chase. A post a day about her experiences during the Covid-19 during social distancing. Living in Northern California between Sacramento and Lake Tahoe. Feel free to comment or write you’re own daily experience at the bottom of the page.
APR 3, 2020
Catastrophic thinking and conspiracy theories.
The sky is not falling. Big shit is happening on an energetic level, maybe even crazy stuff that is unimaginable. And while there may be some truth in a few of these claims the way they are reported makes any of it unbelievable. For example, I am not a fan of 5G and there could be some impact 5G is doing, but the extreme news and the lack of hard evidence with these news claims make any link to 5G look ridiculous. And the whole thing feels more like fake news and covert reporting to tear people apart rather than anything. I know fear is driving this, so I think I will stay away from all of this to maintain my sanity.
News: Engineer intentionally derails train near L.A. hospital ship over coronavirus conspiracy theory, feds say.
“A Fake Pandemic”: Anti-Vaxxers Are Spreading Coronavirus Conspiracy Theories
Coronavirus has conspiracy theorists and anti-5G campaigners working overtime
MAR 31, 2020
I let myself feel like crap the past few days because that’s just how all of this felt, crappy. Now I feel like I can focus on what is and go with the flow a bit more. Humans are amazing, how they flex, resist, and reshape to their environment. I have never been so aware of my spit, my hands, and how my throat feels. Thank you COVID.
MAR 30, 2020
It’s a Monday morning and that means Ryan off to work, thank goddess he has a bit of work he can do safely. And Adrienne will do homeschool, that finally started and she really needs it to keep her focused on something other than her phone. For me, I am working on a few online classes, also working on the HOME project, and a couple of side projects I volunteered to do for Nevada County Arts Council. Big exhale.
I woke up with another level of awareness about how to handle Covid19 properly when cleaning, washing food, etc… I’m going to have to assume that what we have been doing was effective so I don’t freak myself out.
MAR 27, 2020
I HAVE NOTHING I WANT TO SAY OTHER THAN I’M UNCOMFORTABLE.
MAR 26, 2020
Working through my glum feelings, wondering when INSPIRATION to work will come.
I have time, but no motivation.
Remembering that creativity works on its own timing.
Seeing this time as a research and development phase.
Shifting gears from what was to what is.
Being still instead of reactive.
Sigh….News: New York’s hospitals are pushed to the brink. At least 81,578 people in the U.S. are known to have been infected with the coronavirus, including more than 1,000 deaths. That’s more cases than any other country has recorded, according to data gathered by The New York Times.
MAR 25, 2020
Dear Sadie, I am selfish.
MAR 24, 2020
There are two kinds of days, weekdays and weekends, and they no longer have any significance or play a role as a marker for when to do anything. Yesterday SUCKED BIG TIME. Today I have a better outlook. When Adrienne wakes, my focus will be on spending time with her; I can tell she needs a push to get into this new norm and find a rhythm. News: Since the first U.S. case of the coronavirus was identified in Washington state on January 21, health officials have identified more than 46,000 cases across the United States and more than 500deaths. By March 17, the virus had expanded its presence from several isolated clusters in Washington, New York and California to all 50 states and the District of Columbia.
MAR 23, 2020
Dear Sadie, It's Monday, every day is blending into the next. Blehhhhhhhhhh News: Our health reporter Donald McNeil writes: “If it were possible to wave a magic wand and make all Americans freeze in place for 14 days while sitting six feet apart, epidemiologists say, the whole epidemic would sputter to a halt.”
MAR 22, 2020
Dear Sadie, Yesterday Adrienne and I transformed our two garden beds. Seeing them first thing this morning made me fall in love with our home and space, truly uplifting. As we sit in our tidy and uninfected community I see news articles about people refusing to take social distancing seriously and other posts with nurses begging for better treatment and reassuring the public that staying home is helping everyone. Every day is filled with turbulent emotions. When will I want to paint or make art, I have no idea.
MAR 21, 2020
Dear Sadie, Here comes the weekend, no plans to be social or to go anywhere. Thinking of a car drive someplace with a picnic. Even if that doesn't happen today, it will be out next outing as a family. Waiting for better weather to do some gardening.
MAR 20, 2020
Dear Sadie, I am afraid, but not panicked, I feel dread for our country, and for the world, but excited to be restricted to home. Reading a headline that 50% of all Californians will have Coronavirus fucked with my head. On one hand, I'm not afraid of the virus, on the other hand, I don't want to get it, at least not this year. I worry about all the what if's. And I find listing to people who are upbeat about this whole thing annoying, especially fucking menials. Don't get me wrong, I see their point of view. The earth needs a break, humans need this life lesson and the mother crown blah blah blah that feels like bullshit and way too early to dig into the benefits of all of this crap. The first step of grieving is denial, I just past that one, the next step is pain and that is where I'm at.
MAR 19, 2020
Dear Sadie, I woke up feeling grounded, good sleep. Then a call from my husband who is feeling freaked out. Big exhale. Will the banks' collapse, will our tenants be able to pay the rent, what is our new protocol for keeping clean, should we go through our backdoor and take our clothes off before coming into the house if we went out into the world? So basically, I'm freaked out one day, then mellow out until someone else comes near me freaked out. And one more thing. I am not a fan of our President, when he talks I wence. But this morning listening to him I felt hopeful, a moment of graditude from a very unexpected place. Top of the News: Confirmed Coronavirus Cases In The U.S. Nears 10,000. The country closes in on that marker days after all 50 states reported cases of COVID-19 disease. Jobless claims across the country have also spiked amid desperate attempts to keep the virus at bay.
MAR 18, 2020
Dear Sadie, I just passed the denial phase, now feeling scared and hurt. I think the next phase of grieving is anger, just a guess. Last night I tossed and turned with every negative thought, another to counter it with a positive one. My challenge now is to keep things flowing with my teen daughter, who is home from school. To stop getting sucked into the media and worry more than being there for her. Top of the News: Trump Shuts Border With Canada, Blames 'Chinese Virus' As Coronavirus Spreads. The president said the border would close by "mutual consent," the latest development in the coronavirus pandemic he increasingly has called "the Chinese virus."
MAR 17, 2020
Dear Sadie, Every day for the past month feels more and more bizarre and unreal. I go from feeling totally fine to feeling overtaken by dread. Today we got power back; it lifted our spirits a bit. Adrienne and I drove through Burger King to get food and quickly back home to our safe nest.
MAR 16, 2020
Dear Sadie, I woke from my sleep last night, not sure what time it was as we had a winter power outage. Feeling like it was the straw that broke the camels back. Our first week being asked to stay home, no school for our kids, and things getting serious, and then no power and all that entails. Anyhow, I woke with my head spinning on all the dominoes that I could imagine falling. People losing work, kids no longer in school, one thing after another, totally overwhelmed. The sound of a clock ticking down to a time that no one will know what will happen.
MAR 15, 2020
When I was a young girl, I would write in my diary; I named my diary Sadie. I can't remember if that was an acronym for something? It's been a while. I'm writing to you, Sadie, because I am witness to what is going to be a very memorable time in history. Covid 19 is happening dispite my desire to participate.
MAR 13, 2020
New rule, everyone who enters our home must wash their hands with antibacterial soap and warm water. A first for me, my policy use to be, lick everything, environmental immunization is what I called it.